Funeral Ideas and Thoughts for Those Suffering Bereavement
A funeral marks the close of a human beings time on earth. It is the opportunity for family and friends to express their grief at the loss they feel, to tell something of the person they knew and to give thanks for the life lived. As far back into history as we can see, people have felt the need for a ceremony to say goodbye to the one they love.
It is a part of who we are, acknowledging the importance of other people in our lives. When they die, finding a way of leave-taking helps us to continue to live our own lives. We have put together some funeral ideas for you to consider and help you at this difficult time.
It is a difficult time to put your mind to organising something which has appropriate memories for a whole family and when there may be many pressures for other life. There appear to be decisions to make all around.
It is important not to miss the opportunity for a funeral which is meaningful for you. It is part of the process of mourning, for you as an individual and for those who are the wider body of family and friends.
Practical Arrangements.
1. Look at the will of the person who has died, or talk to the person closest to them, to find out if there is any information to hand about the funeral the person wanted.
2. Think quietly about whom you would like to help you choose hymns, readings, and other music which will be at the funeral. It may help to involve close members of the family. Do not, however, involve too many people or you will find that it becomes very complicated and you may not be able to fulfil all their wishes. Make your choices carefully and be clear about whom you want involved.
3. Make sure you have the legal death certificate.
4. Contact, or ask someone to contact for you, those who can help with the funeral arrangements. Each country has its own laws around funeral arrangements. You may also have a preference for the type of funeral you would like. You may want to contact your local religious leader to take the funeral, a funeral director to make some of the arrangements, your local government or community representative for funeral information. Do this early on so that you know the parameters within which you need to think. They can help with arrangements for the body and the ceremony as well as with taking care of yourself at this time of bereavement.
5. There will be financial implications that you will need to think through. The above people will help you with this information.
6. Decide if you would like people to join you for refreshments afterwards. Decide who can help you.
7. Take care of yourself and mourn for yourself; try not to feel embarrassed to do so. It is important to take time and allow the grief to be present in you and in others.
8. All families, even the most harmonious, find funeral arrangements and coming together a strain. Be clear with anyone about how you would like them to help. Try not to give two people the same responsibility. Consult about key issues and do not hesitate to ask your religious leader or another professional to help with family relationships and mourning.
The Ceremony.
The funeral service should reflect the personality of the one who has died and the circumstances of their death. Choices of music and words can do this. You can ask someone to talk about the person, or the leader of the funeral to talk for you.
It is important for you, both at the time, and afterwards to have something personal in the service about the person who has died. At a funeral dignity may feel important to you but funerals are for farewells and tears. Do not feel you have avoid things which cause others public grief. Funerals have a purpose. At a funeral bereavement will be all around you. Sharing this together can help everyone.
People close to the one who has died sometimes like to take part in the ceremony. This can be both healing and moving for those involved and those listening. Be careful, however, not to overburden yourself or others if they do not feel up to it, especially children. It is sad when people, although present, miss the sense of the funeral as they are so nervous about the part they must play in it. It is a perfectly valid decision to simply be at the funeral of one you love and grieve.
Feelings of grief, gratitude, joy and sadness often intermingle.
After the Funeral.
People who have lost someone close to them are often so busy with practical details and arrangements between the death and the funeral that they do not experience the full sense of their loss until later.
Grieving is a natural and important part of coming to terms with and healing this loss and it may continue for several months or indeed much longer. People grieve in different ways. There are many ways to find help and emotional support after a funeral.
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